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My Baby's Got a Secret: DOOL

After months of waiting and wondering how and when it would happen, finally the truth is out about Chloe's fling and Parker's paternity! Now Nathan is the only one still left in the dark. As far as big soapy reveals go, yesterday's shocker was just okay. Maybe my expectations were too high after so many false alarms where it seemed that the truth was going to come out but it didn't. This is my main complaint with Days, they tease their audience too much so that by the time the event that they have been teasing us with finally happens it's anti-climactic. I think this particular reveal should have happened shortly after Melanie and Nathan left quarantine because I never really understood how they could come so close to death, say their "I love you's" then go back to their respective mates as if nothing ever happened. Typically the "near death" storylines are put in place to bring a couple together, not bring them almost together then have them...

Much Ado About...well, Nothing: GH

Ever since Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo's highly anticipated return to GH, viewers have been hearing about this mysterious Balkan character who was out to hurt Brenda. For a while I assumed the Balkan was Franco because of the scene below where he is on a plane looking at Brenda's photo and talking to someone on the phone about wanting to work with her. [no copyright infringement intended] Of course that assumption was proven wrong once it was revealed that the Balkan was out to get Brenda for killing his son. And even with all the inconsistencies on GH I'm assuming they know that even their viewers can't suspend the reality of disbelief enough to buy that Franco could have a son old enough to date Brenda. The reveal that Theo Hoffman is actually the Balkan should come as no surprise, at least it didn't to me for a couple of reasons. First of all my expectations were already low going into this storyline because of the huge disappointment that was CO77X. I had...

Eye of the Storm: DOOL

I've been hoping that something would happen on Days to put a stop to the Sami/EJ/Sydney/Nicole baby swap roller coaster extravaganza because quite frankly, haven't we all had enough? There has to be something else that can be done with these characters that doesn't all stem from Nicole switching Sami's baby out. Nicole tried to make EJ think Sydney was their child. EJ found out what she did and kicked her out of the house. EJ then made Sami think Sydney was dead because she tried to keep her from him. Then he fell back in love with Sami, then she found out what he did so she shot him in the head. Then EJ found out that Sami shot him so he took her kids away from her and is milking the pain for all it's worth. Did I leave anything out? Here is what I was hoping would happen to resolve this mess: (1) It's almost Christmas so let EJ realize he is hurting his kids and that they are better off with Sami. EJ will seem more redeemable this way and Sami's heart ...

Top 10 Soapy Things I Am Thankful For

In honor of Thanksgiving I thought it would be appropriate to make a top ten list of the soap-related things I am thankful for. Please feel free to share your own! This year I am thankful... 1.) For Days of Our Lives - It gives me a break from the Brenda drama over on GH. 2.) That Maggie isn't going to stay in that sarcophagus much longer, oh and maybe people on        that show will stop saying sarcophagus. 3.) That it has been a while since there has been any mention of Helena and the train wreck        that would have been the Cassadine storyline. 4.) For the break-up of Sonny and Claire - seriously who could have stood that much        longer? 5.) For Natalia Livingston going to DOOL - because I love seeing soapy favorites on shows        I'm already watching. 6.) That Lucky has a storyline outside of all the Liz drama even if it is only te...

The Mobster's Son and the Stripper: GH

Once upon a time there was a young man of barely eighteen, who was imprisoned after slaying his stepmother to protect his mother and baby sister. This young man was called Michael and his newfound captivity held more danger than all the ports in Port Charles.   Shortly after his imprisonment began, Michael became the victim of a sinister plot in which he was forced to submit to the sexual advances of a fellow inmate. Michael's spirit was broken and it seemed like he might never recover from the harsh realities of prison even after he was freed. Then one day fair maiden Samantha offered Michael a helping hand. It seemed she had come across a lovely lady called Candy who routinely abandoned her clothes in the presence of men for monetary compensation. As luck would have it this lady was willing to offer herself to Michael as a way of helping him overcome his fears of intimacy; but alas young Michael was too inexperienced, too broken to appreciate Candy's kind ...

Easy Love: GH

Just when I thought a storyline could not possibly get any worse than the prison rape of a barely eighteen year old kid it does. A casual observer might ask how a prison rape storyline could get any worse. Well, General Hospital answered that question on Tuesday by having Sam take it upon herself to get Michael an escort so he could learn about sex. I might be able to forgive Michael for a momentary lapse in judgment where he thought it would be beneficial to get his first real sexual experience out of the way. After all Michael has a lot of issues for someone so young and for the last few weeks he has been repeatedly confronted with images of couples having sex. Taking this into account it would be understandable for Michael to think that obtaining a sense of "normal" intimacy with someone would solve all his problems. Like I said Michael is a confused, young kid who is prone to poor decision making. I do think it was a little presumptuous, if not a litt...

Miss Diagnosis: GH

Like many of you I have thoroughly enjoyed Lisa's descent into madness. Of course now that Patrick has found Robin, and Lisa has essentially laid all her cards on the table, this storyline will have to come to some sort of conclusion. First of all, someone will likely get shot so hopefully Steve will make his way to the cabin where he can help out the injured party, assuming no one gets killed. If, in fact, someone does get shot I hope it is Lisa, but not for the reasons you might think. If Lisa gets shot, accidentally of course while she and Patrick are fighting over the gun, the bullet may hit her in the head. Since she is a soap character a bullet in the head will not necessarily be fatal, just ask DOOL's E.J. Dimera. If he can be shot in the head and make it through a whole night without medical attention, then Lisa should be fine with three doctors surrounding her immediately after it happens. Of course Lisa's subsequent surgery to remove the bullet will be a tri...

Hidden Dangers: GH

Brenda has been back on General Hospital for a while now and I have yet to say much of her return. This is primarily because I was waiting to see how everything would play out. In addition, a theory has been swirling around in my mind about the people in her life and I thought it necessary to watch a little more of the show to see if this theory would take shape. The first day I saw Murphy's interaction with Brenda I thought "what if this guy isn't the nice guy he appears to be?" "what if he were responsible for the attempts on Brenda's life?" It would certainly add dimension to this character and provide an excuse for Brenda to leave him for good; but as I continued to watch the show I also thought "what if Murphy wasn't acting alone in placing Brenda in danger?" "what if Suzanne were somehow involved?" Both Murphy and Suzanne seem almost obsessive about Brenda's safety to the point of controlling her more than protecting h...

As the World Stops Turning

In about a week the 'World' will stop turning over on CBS. Even as I write these words it's difficult to believe that "As the World Turns" will no longer be a part of the daytime line-up, as this was one of many soaps I grew up watching. I must admit, however, that I haven't followed the show all that closely in quite a while. In my opinion the quality of the storylines and overall tone of the show deteriorated to a point where the characters I had grown to love became virtually unrecognizable. Unfortunately this seems to be a growing trend shared by many of today's soaps and I suspect this may at least partially explain the steady decline in ratings. However, I'm not writing this post as an evaluation of ATWT's shortcomings. That would be like kicking an old friend while they were down. And of course any problems the show has had doesn't negate the many years of great storytelling and superior acting that will surely be the hallmark of its leg...

At Its Best: DOOL

It seems redundant and rather unimaginative that all my blog posts regarding the storylines on Days of Our Lives should be about how enjoyable the show is right now and how much it reminds me of how soaps used to be; but what else can be said about a show that not only continues to surprise me but keeps me entertained in a way that doesn't compromise the integrity of the characters?  The fallout regarding EJ's involvement in Sydney's kidnapping has been especially riveting, which only proves that this fallout should have come much sooner than it has. Of course if yesterday's episode is any indication it might have just been worth the wait. As predicted the show has crafted this storyline in such a way that EJ is almost as much a victim to his actions as anyone else. I tried to resist feeling any sympathy toward him for a long time, but after James Scott's (EJ) emotionally complex scenes the past few days I can't help but be unapologeti...

10 Ways General Hospital Could Improve

I doubt if I'm alone in saying that there is a lot wrong with General Hospital these days. While it continues to be one of my favorite soaps there are many changes I would make immediately if I had the power. Below is a list of the top ten suggestions I have for the way the show could improve. 1. The Claire/Sonny storyline needs to be dropped. It isn't working. Their conversations are boring and the context of their relationship is, well...icky. 2. Amp up Lisa's craziness. Despite my earlier distaste for a Robin/Patrick/Lisa triangle, the obsessed ex-girlfriend angle is working. It's interesting and very soapy. 3. Ronnie needs to be established as either a cop with a chip on his shoulder or someone who works for Franco. So far I haven't been able to tell whether Ronnie falls more on the side of good or bad because this character hasn't been clearly defined. 4. Brenda's life away from Port Charles and the people that surround it need to become an int...

Fatal Attraction: GH

Dr. Lisa Niles's inability to take "no" or "never again" for an answer may turn out to be the thing that finally makes this character and her storyline worth watching. I really hope General Hospital is planning on taking the psychotic ex-girlfriend route with her because it would finally give me a reason to care about this otherwise boring triangle. Not to mention the fact that it would teach Patrick a valuable lesson of why it is a bad idea to cheat on his wife. The crazy, unstable ex-girlfriend plot almost always makes for an entertaining soap storyline. In fact some of the most memorable performances from soaps have been given in the context of demented exes seeking revenge or vindication of some sort. I can still recall many of the scenes in which Cynthia Watros portrayed Josh Lewis's jilted wife Annie on Guiding Light. She made a near seamless transition from mild-mannered nurse to Josh and Reva's worst nightmare ov...

Young, Restless, and Broke: A Review

I recently finished reading the book Young, Restless, and Broke by Blossom Kan and Michelle Yu, the acclaimed authors of China Dolls.  It might seem kind of strange that I would be talking about a book considering this is a soap opera blog, but I assure you this book is relevant. It is about a young, aspiring actress named Sarah who dreams of starring on her favorite soap one day. Sarah is the ultimate soap fan, as is her friend Chad, so this book is filled with soap references, most of which are based on actual soaps, their storylines, and their actors. Sarah's dreams of becoming a soap actress take her on an unexpected journey that often mirrors a soap opera, leading her on a path of self-discovery and self-worth. I really enjoyed this book. It's the perfect summer read because it's relatively short with less than 300 pages, more importantly it's easy to follow. It's something you can pick up and read for a little while, then put down without having difficulty r...

Collateral Damage: GH

With the rest of the country setting off fireworks to commemorate Independence Day, Port Charles had an explosion of a different kind on Friday, symbolizing the tendency for Sonny's plans to blow up in his face - pun intended. It baffles me that anyone who claims to love their kids as much as Sonny does could be so clueless when it comes to their well being. It's not as if Sonny hasn't had a plethora of opportunities to learn the lessons that would make most people stop and think about how their actions affect their kids. He just refuses to learn those lessons, no matter how high the cost. In that way he and Claudia were a lot alike, except in the end her mistakes caught up with her, Sonny's never will. There will always be someone there to make excuses for his behavior, ensuring that he is never far from redemption. That certainly shouldn't be too difficult this time, considering Kristina's recent behavior. It's easy enough to see that if she hadn't bee...

37th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards

After watching tonight's Daytime Emmy Awards I would have to say that this year's broadcast was not much better than last year's. The extent that soaps are acknowledged on these shows continues to decrease and I fear it will only get worse. I remember when a clip of every actor's nominated performance was shown when their category was announced, now fans barely get a glimpse of the nominees and see nothing of their performances. The only exception is when the category for Outstanding Drama Series is announced and those clips do little to showcase the actors. The red carpet pre-show was noticeably missing from tonight's broadcast. Last year's show on the CW at least had one of the those. I remember because it seemed like it served as more of a platform for the new fall shows than it actually celebrated the Emmys, but at least it aired. I thought the Vegas acts tonight were a little distracting. I know that is where the Emmys were located but I didn't really s...

In Memory Of: DOOL

In the past few weeks Days of Our Lives brought back much of their beloved cast to pay tribute to the late Frances Reid and Alice Horton, the character she portrayed for over 40 years. Almost every episode featured clips of the actress as various characters remembered special moments with Alice. Friday's episode was especially touching when everyone gathered for a final goodbye at Alice's funeral. Kristian Alfonso's (Hope) performance literally made me cry. Her grief seemed genuine, which isn't surprising considering that she and Reid shared the screen for many years. That's not to take anything away from Alfonso's abilities as an actress, but she achieved such a high level of sincerity during her performance it would be difficult to describe it as anything other than authentic. If I have one complaint about the way Days handled the memorialization of Reid and her character it would be the way Mike missed his chance to say goodbye. Obviously this sort of thing h...

It's Not Me, It's You: GH

Over the past few months I have been waiting in vain for something to happen on General Hospital that would captivate my attention or at least give me the impression that something was about to happen to hold my interest. As it turns out that was an exercise in futility because everything I have seen these past few months has convinced me that the show is in a slump, not a "please-be-patient-while-the-storylines-are-building" slump, but a real honest-to-goodness slump, the kind that makes every episode seem exactly the same. I can't even really find anything constructive to say about the show anymore because it feels like the storylines never change. They all involve the same players doing exactly the same thing. Even the dialogue is being recycled from one day to the next. I can't remember a time before Sonny said something that didn't involve some variation of the lines "Johnny's gonna die", "I would never hit a woman", "I wouldn...

The Vicious Cycle: GH

Ever since Kristina witnessed Sonny's verbal attack on Claudia at the Metro Court, I have wondered how, if at all, this incident would impact her thoughts on abuse. With Kristina now learning so much more about the complexities of abuse it seems only natural that she would find similarities in the way Sonny is with women and the way Kiefer was with her. Granted, Sonny is not likely to ever hit a woman. He is careful not to cross that line after seeing the way his mother was beaten while he was growing up. His upbringing obviously left him with the impression that abuse only exists in the physical form. Perhaps the physical pain he and his mother endured was so bad that any other forms of abuse went unnoticed. Kiefer didn't start hitting Kristina right away, and I doubt if Deke hit Sonny's mother right away either. Like most abusive situations, there was undoubtedly some mental and emotional abuse that occurred throughout, only Sonny was either too young or ill-equipped to r...

I Fall Down An Elevator Shaft? : DOOL

Even though Chloe appears to be losing her mind, I'm glad Days didn't go overboard by making her snap and send Carly to her death. I did love the fact that a rigged elevator was involved in all of this though. That was textbook soap opera 101, and I love soaps that aren't afraid to look, feel, and sound like soaps. In fact I think many soaps, in their efforts to attract a broader audience, have lost the essence of the genre. Scenes that may seem cheesy or contrived in other genres sometimes work well in soaps. As long as these scenes don't compromise the integrity of the characters or the show itself, soaps shouldn't feel the need to completely shy away from them. The whole idea is for them to be entertaining while pushing the storylines forward. If they can accomplish those two things and still maintain plausibility within the show's context they have served a valuable purpose indeed. [no copyright infringement intended] Okay so Chloe didn't literally fall...

Port Charles Cupid: GH's Most Unlikely Romances

With all the things that General Hospital has gotten wrong lately, they seem to have an uncanny ability of making successful matches out of the most unlikely couples. Before Georgie died, and Maxie was at her most selfish, no one would have ever thought about a Spinelli and Maxie romance, let alone a non-wedding, but somehow it worked and the audience loved it. And even though this lovable pair has seen less screen time lately and are likely headed for turmoil, I suspect they will follow the same necessary pattern of break-ups and reconciliations that most soap supercouples do. When Olivia Falconeri landed in Port Charles, I never would have predicted she would be involved with Johnny Zacchara. Olivia was not one to keep her opinions to herself, especially when it pertained to the mob lifestyle, so a relationship with a Zacchara seemed like a long shot at best. Moreover, Johnny is roughly the same age as Dante, so a pairing between him and Olivia wasn't even on anyone's radar ...

SOAPnet No More

Soap fans received some shocking news this week when it was announced that SOAPnet, the only 24-hour soap channel, would be going off the air in 2012 to make room for a new Disney channel. And although fans are being reassured that this will not affect the soap genre because of the ability to watch episodes online, this seems like one more step toward making soaps obsolete. I must say I think SOAPnet could have and should have tried much harder to promote the genre that brought them into existence, but I don't see how soaps can avoid a fallout once this channel goes off the air. Sure viewers survived years without the convenience of SOAPnet to allow them to catch up on missed episodes, but a lot has changed in the ten years since its launch. Soap ratings are lower than ever, and even with the Internet, DVR, and SOAPnet, it is a constant struggle to maintain viewer interest. In fact, I'm sure SOAPnet is the only way certain viewers can watch their missed episodes. It may seem ...

Here Come the Brides: DOOL

A lot of positive things can be said about Days of Our Lives right now and I have touched on a few of them lately, but I must say I was surprised at what an outstanding plot point Victor and Vivian's wedding turned out to be. Out of all the other storylines I didn't expect this decidedly trivial event to be so entertaining. From Nicole and Kate drinking martinis before, during, and after the ceremony to Nicole lining up all of Victor's ex-wives to have their picture taken with Vivian, it was pure soapy goodness. I even loved the flashback sequences throughout the ceremony as Kate, Carly, and Nicole remembered their weddings to Victor. Most of all I am enjoying the emphasis that is being placed on Victor and Maggie's connection. I think there is real potential there. She has a way of keeping him in a line when no one else can. And he seems to genuinely respect her, which is more than I can say about any of the other women in his life. I think the other soaps would do wel...

On Guard: GH

Unless you are a soap fan who doesn't read internet spoilers, or you missed Saturday night's podcast you have undoubtedly heard the rumor about what really happened to Michael in prison. That rumor of course being that he was the victim of prison rape, which seems to be exactly what GH has been implying the past few days. And I just want to go on record right now as saying that if the reason for the Michael recast was so the show could put somebody with a more innocent look into these prison scenes it was a bad decision. It is not that Chad Duell isn't doing a good job as Michael because he is. It just never ceases to amaze me how soaps are constantly sacrificing good actors for bad storylines. And this prison storyline is bad on more levels than I can even wrap my mind around. First of all Michael probably would have been okay in prison until Jason got there if Sonny had checked his ego at the prison door and not antagonized Anthony Zacchara with threats about Johnny. Sonn...

Easy Targets: GH

With Michael being sentenced to five years in prison, Carly is certainly entitled to be angry. It is even understandable that she would want to lash out at anyone within striking distance and seek revenge on the person responsible for putting him there. In fact given everything that Michael has been through it would be hard to fault Carly for trying to get some sort of justice for him. After all he didn't receive an ounce of it in court, yet I am still having trouble empathizing with Carly enough to support her behavior. As I said in the last post, there were many people responsible for Michael's predicament. And yes, Dante and Lulu definitely played a part in it, but Carly seems to be focusing an unreasonable amount of anger on these two considering how much blame there is to go around. And I still think it is strange that no one is angry with Lucky for bringing Michael in in the first place. He pointed a gun at Jason to keep him from taking Michael out of the country and no...

Placing Blame: GH

Even though I don't agree with the way Dante went about telling everyone that Michael killed Claudia, I can sort of understand his reasons for doing it. After all no one has ever really taught Michael the concept of taking responsibility for his actions. Moreover, the guilt over killing Claudia has been making Michael act out in such self-destructive ways that a life in the mob seemed inevitable. And if Carly and Sonny were really honest with themselves they would realize that Michael has been wanting to confess for months, not just to protect Sonny, but because of all the guilt. On the other hand I can understand Carly, Sonny, and Jason's impulse to cover up what happened to Claudia because Michael had already lost a year of his life and was still dealing with the repercussions of that when he killed her. And if they had gone to the police at that time it is reasonable to assume that because Michael is Sonny's son someone would have taken the opportunity to make an example...